2010 Update

Well well, hello hello ...

I know I know.. What my deal?? I go MIA and come in and out.. Where do I go, what do I do.. Well I've been here getting everything together. Going to doctors appointments, registering for school, working...

Sooooo I got into grad school (YAYAYYYYY!) so in a few weeks I'm on my way to an MSW (Master's in Social Work). I'm so happy, so proud of myself. I want to do so much, I want to change lives, I want to help people. I want to show everyone YES we ALL can!! A spick girl from Queens, NY who was almost a high school drop out made it. Made it to graduate school, made it where I want to be. Everything I've put my mind to it, I've accomplished, with a few bumps but I've made it. After my degree I hope to one day open my business. I want to open a counseling center or an after school program for adolescents or something to help the community, my borough, my city, my state and someday maybe the nation and who knows the world lol.. I know, I know now I'm just thinking crazy. But who knows maybe one day.  Very proud and grateful!

Another note something else is also happening. In November 2009 I started considering gastric bypass and in July everything was finalized and approved. I had my surgery date for July 22, 2010 but I was too anemic and they postponed it. Now I'm okay everything has been cleared and it's going to happen any day now. I'm excited I can't wait til I see and feel results. I've been feeling sick and fat for a year now and I can't wait until I feel normal. I want to be healthy again, I want to start my family, I want to fit into rides at amusement parks and just feel NORMAL!. I've always have been big but I've felt great with my size 16-18 but last year I was really anemic and I couldn't exercise, I could barely move, I slept most of the day because I was so tired. My hemoglobin was at 6-7 and I felt terrible. Since then I've gained 40-50 pounds and now I feel slow, big, double chinned and just big. But hopefully in a few months this will all change.

I've been researching the surgery everyday, reading blogs, reading research, life pre-op, life post op, just everything. I feel like I have a good grasp on it and hopefully everything works out as long as I follow the guidelines and my doctors instructions. (..sigh..) yea man I've signed up for another adventure, lets see where this one takes me but so far so good ...

Thinking about the future excites but at the same time it scares me. So many things can and will change. Things surprise you and test you but I just follow my heart and hope for the best. Everything happens for a reason and I'm a huge believer of that. Life has taught me that over and over again. Even when you are in a bad, sad place when you are stuck don't worry you are there for a reason just have faith and keep working on yourself when you look back you'll understand why you were there. Everything we read, everyone we meet, everything we touch, smell, feel is there to teach you, to enlighten you, to encourage you. So embrace it, learn from it and move on..

Well that's enough with the life lessons lol.. I have to post more things about my history but with everything happening it's a little hard. My nephew is going to be a senior in HS this year I'm always researching colleges and scholarships and wow is that time consuming or what!! He has good grades so he has so many choices but the better the school the more expensive. I want him to go to a great school but I don't want him to have a debt of $300,000 when he gets out either. But if he gets into an ivy league I would hate to take away that opportunity. It's so hard when it was time for me to go to school I didn't have any choices. The only school I could get into was a community college. But if you have any advice for us, feel free to comment or write me an email at simplydenisi@gmail.com .. :)

Hope everyone has a great day!!

Love Always,

simply Denisi <3

High School Graduate: If I did it, anyone can!

Sometimes I speak to friends from high school and they tell me how proud they are that I made it. I've completed my BA, I have a stable job, I have no children out of wedlock, I married after school, I have my own apartment, now Im looking to move foward and completing my MA. I feel I didn't do anything spectacular, it's not like I got amazing grades and was valedictorian. I was an average student that did what anyone could've done. I wasn't saved or had some amazing opportunity, everything I did in terms of school and everything else, anyone could've done.

When I was in high school I was a terrible student, I barely went to school and even when I did show up I didn't go to most of my classes. I had no aspirations, I didnt know what I wanted to be when I grew up, I didnt even think about it. I think back and I wonder where was my mind at and why didnt anyone simply ask me? I wasn't a bad girl, I was still nice, sweet, caring but I wasn't focused on anything. Not my life, not my future. I was just living in the moment, waiting for something to happen. Like me there are thousands of adolescents today out there waiting for something to happen, someone to speak to them, someone to raise awareness.

I knew about college, I knew it was there but I didn't see myself going because it seemed hard, nothing I could get into, nothing I can do. Until a guidance counselor took the time and asked me about my future plans, asked me about graduating high school, told me about community college. Told me I had choices where my grades didnt matter, I only needed a diplomia or a GED. Then we spoke about how I can complete my diplomia, graduate on time and move on. When I spoke to her I told her its impossible, I'm supposed to be in my senior year and only have 22 out of 40 credits but we made a plan and at the end of the year I graduted with 52 credits. I went to school all day (7:25 AM to 4 PM) then twice a week I went to night school til about 9 PM. I struggled a little bit but I did it. Just like I did it everyone could.

I'm not a genius (tell from my grammer errors) believe me I'm not I just figured out what I wanted. To be clear I didn't just figure it all out in one day. I gave it some thought.. Where do I wanna see myself in June? Where do I wanna see myself next year? Where do I wanna see myself in 5 or 10 years?

In 2002 (when I graduated HS) I only knew I wanted to be out of high school, and I mostly knew what I didnt want. I didn't want to become a statistic, I didn't want to get pregnant, I didn't want to drop-out of HS, I didn't want to work at a minimium wage job forever, I didn't want to go to public assistance, I didn't want to count on a man for anything. I wanted more, I wanted be able to pay my own rent, buy my own things, stand on my own two feet so I wouldn't feel stuck with anyone because I couldn't survive on my own (I'll tell you why another time).

I am where I am because of me. I made the decision to try and beat the statistics and I'm still trying...

Don't be shy.. Contact me email (simplydenisi@gmail.com) or simply leave a comment :) I'm here for everyone :)

SimplyDenisi <3