Tuesday, May 19, 2009

When will I get there?

OK well still don't have a bathroom but its coming along.. The walls are finally up but nothing else.. At least they made an outlet because the bathroom had none. So hopefully, I'm praying the bathroom will be done early next week. I still have to shower at my mothers house but it's almost over!!

I had a somewhat stressful day not because of work but because of my school situation. Okay let me start from the beginning. As I posted in my previous blog, I composed my goals and made a timeline. One of the most important ones was to start on my graduate degree. But unfortunately I decided to work on this a little too late. My husband works from NYU so I can get my masters for free, I'm only responsible for student fees and taxes. I'm excited because this is BIG! One problem the programs I want to pursue are not accepting applications because the deadline was February 1st. I'm trying to reach out to people in the school but no one is returning my emails.

Today I read facts about the program which is Mental Health Counseling, NYU only accepts 40 students A YEAR! Now my GPA not very good, doesn't reach 3.0, not because I'm not a good student or because I'm not smart but because when I started school I wasn't focused. But now I am. I feel helpless. I feel like there is no where to go. I have a goal that seems impossible to reach. I want to make a difference in people's lives but I can't seem to get a chance.

I really care about people and helping and becoming a resource. I really need a prayer. 40 students?? What are the odds of my being one of them. A Dominican girl from queens with a sucky GPA but that doesn't tell them who I am, what I'm about. The love and dedication I want to provide to the public. I want to open my counseling office, just come in, sit and let's talk.

I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't want to give up but it's hard. I want to see the light at the end of the tunnel. This is something I want so bad, it's what I've always wanted, it's something I always imagined myself doing. I want to give back. I want to be the example not only to my future children but to everyone around me. I'll have to continue this tomorrow I'm getting choked up and I'm getting a headache.

Until next time. Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment.

simply Denisi <3.

PS gramatical errors will be corrected tomorrow.


  1. Hello Nisi - can I call you that? I feel as though I know you really well from reading your posts! I love your blog and I definitely identify and share with some of your struggles. It's really refreshing to read a personal, honest blog. Can't wait to hear more.

    BTW, I cannot believe NYU accept only 40 applicants per year. That's ludicrous. No wonder we have a mental health epidemic on our hands. I will be praying that a position opens up for you, if not this year hopefully the next. God makes all things perfect in His time.

    If only we lived on the same continent I would definitely give you some cooking lessons! Have you heard of Nigella Lawson? If she can’t inspire you to get cooking….then, I don’t know!

  2. OMG thank you so much!! I woke up this morning and your comment really made my day. I was so excited I was reading it to my husband lol..

    Ofcourse you can call me Nisi, my coworkers call me that..

    About NYU yes it's a shame only 40 students a year!!! I emailed an advisor, she wrote back and said I can go non-matriculated this year and next year apply for the program, but the thing is I can only go one year non-matriculated, so if next year I apply and I dont get accepted then its one year wasted. I wrote her my concerns and Im still waiting to hear back. If not then Im going to try to apply for social work. It's not bad but I prefer counseling. I put it in God's hands so whatever is meant to be, will be.

    About cooking, I'm working on it and I was doing pretty good until my bathroom was demolished and so I have to spend most of my day at my parents house. I'm going into my fourth week without a showering in my own apartment (I shower at my [parent's houst everyday lol. Hopefully I'll be back on my grind this week when my bathroom is done. I'm going to lookup Nigella Lawson to see what can I cook up.. :)

    So how's everything on your side of town..?

    Good hearing from you!!

    simply Denisi..