Sometimes I speak to friends from high school and they tell me how proud they are that I made it. I've completed my BA, I have a stable job, I have no children out of wedlock, I married after school, I have my own apartment, now Im looking to move foward and completing my MA. I feel I didn't do anything spectacular, it's not like I got amazing grades and was valedictorian. I was an average student that did what anyone could've done. I wasn't saved or had some amazing opportunity, everything I did in terms of school and everything else, anyone could've done.
When I was in high school I was a terrible student, I barely went to school and even when I did show up I didn't go to most of my classes. I had no aspirations, I didnt know what I wanted to be when I grew up, I didnt even think about it. I think back and I wonder where was my mind at and why didnt anyone simply ask me? I wasn't a bad girl, I was still nice, sweet, caring but I wasn't focused on anything. Not my life, not my future. I was just living in the moment, waiting for something to happen. Like me there are thousands of adolescents today out there waiting for something to happen, someone to speak to them, someone to raise awareness.
I knew about college, I knew it was there but I didn't see myself going because it seemed hard, nothing I could get into, nothing I can do. Until a guidance counselor took the time and asked me about my future plans, asked me about graduating high school, told me about community college. Told me I had choices where my grades didnt matter, I only needed a diplomia or a GED. Then we spoke about how I can complete my diplomia, graduate on time and move on. When I spoke to her I told her its impossible, I'm supposed to be in my senior year and only have 22 out of 40 credits but we made a plan and at the end of the year I graduted with 52 credits. I went to school all day (7:25 AM to 4 PM) then twice a week I went to night school til about 9 PM. I struggled a little bit but I did it. Just like I did it everyone could.
I'm not a genius (tell from my grammer errors) believe me I'm not I just figured out what I wanted. To be clear I didn't just figure it all out in one day. I gave it some thought.. Where do I wanna see myself in June? Where do I wanna see myself next year? Where do I wanna see myself in 5 or 10 years?
In 2002 (when I graduated HS) I only knew I wanted to be out of high school, and I mostly knew what I didnt want. I didn't want to become a statistic, I didn't want to get pregnant, I didn't want to drop-out of HS, I didn't want to work at a minimium wage job forever, I didn't want to go to public assistance, I didn't want to count on a man for anything. I wanted more, I wanted be able to pay my own rent, buy my own things, stand on my own two feet so I wouldn't feel stuck with anyone because I couldn't survive on my own (I'll tell you why another time).
I am where I am because of me. I made the decision to try and beat the statistics and I'm still trying...
Don't be shy.. Contact me email (simplydenisi@gmail.com) or simply leave a comment :) I'm here for everyone :)
SimplyDenisi <3
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
And the grind continues...
And the grind continues...
Well I'm still hoping for the best in 2010. I haven't been accepted to any graduate program. I've received some rejection letters and havent heard anything from three programs. I want this like you wouldn't believe. I want to be successful, I want to set an example for my children, I want to have a career. But none of these programs care, they dont know me. My GPA is not as high as it should be but I poured my heart out on my statement of purpose and I have 6 graduate credits that proves I can do the work. I just want to chance to go out there and change lives and I know I can. But let's see where it takes me..
I hope to get accepted to a MSW program or a Mental Health Counseling program, I want to work with adolescents in a school setting and in the future open my own practice. I have plans people and why can't an admissions comittee see that?
I dont want to give up, Im not going to give up. When I think this year my going to be 26, I feel time is running out. If I get accepted for Fall I can work on my school work and prepare to have my children when I'm about 28 which I think it's the perfect time. By that time I can have my masters or almost be done, I'll have my house. That'll happen in my little perfect world but things seem to hold me back but one day I'll get there.
SimplyDenisi <3
Labels:
Confidence,
focued,
focused,
graduate goals,
money,
school,
venting
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